The Aftermath of a Painful Loss

Writer: Omar Essam
Editor: Abdallah Sobhi

Before I begin, I just want to thank Milkyway Magazine for giving me a platform to talk about something that mainstream media doesn’t want to talk about. Mental health, anxiety, suicide, and so much more… Let’s get on with this.

      From a distance, you will never be able to spot a suicidal person. They are always the smartest. The ones that ask “Why am I here?” “What’s my purpose?” “Am I enough?”.These are the ones that have these negative thoughts in their soul, and not brain. 

      I have lost a friend for suicide. His thoughts got the better of him. Of course he thought of his family and wrote to them before he went on and swallowed all these pills. But he didn’t think enough. He didn’t think of his father, who stood in his funeral broken but not a single tear rolled down his cheek. I asked him about it later, and his response really did touch my heart. He said :”I taught him how to be a man. He always looked up to me. I know he’s always with us, and I didn’t want him to see me cry. I didn’t want him to lose faith in my emotional strength. I really do miss him.”

     He didn’t think of his mother, who just couldn’t stop crying. Not one second did she calm down. He was her only boy, her warrior. I still remember seeing him hold her bag after work. I can still recall every single time his dad grounded him, but his mom talked his dad through it. He was, in every way possible, her backbone. 

        He didn’t think of me, his friend. The one crying while writing this. I just hate how we won’t be cycling to the park again. I hate how empty my neighborhood feels now. It seems like every square inch of this street we had a memory in. All the places I now despise visiting because they just remind me of him. 

        A person taking their own life is something unexplainably hurtful. Never hesitate to talk to anyone if you’re not feeling well. Never ignore someone’s feelings. You never know, you might be their everlasting hero—the person that saved their lives.