Writer: Farida Hwedy

Where does your self-worth come from?

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” It’s funny how self-worth has become so trivial that no one seems to appreciate himself/herself anymore. Instead, we go on insulting our looks and personality sarcastically until we come to the point where we actually believe such harsh criticism. We keep on downgrading ourselves until we get ourselves into lowering our self-esteem and facing depression. But how can you value yourself without being called arrogant?

      Our society has defined self-worth so intensely. People who seem to know their worth are supposedly conceited and cocky. As a normal human being, I’ve those days when I look into the mirror and point out my flaws and think , “Wow, how am I so ugly?” My self-esteem went down hill which got me nowhere. I realized that people started viewing me how I viewed myself since I always mentioned how I am always that very bad picture of myself. Days have passed, and I started realizing how cruel I am being towards myself and how harsh I am judging who I am. Instead of pointing out my flaws, I looked at features that made me special—features I had never noticed. 

As I started to compliment myself and accept my flaws, I realized how my mood swings lessened and how I seemed to be happier than I was before. I opened my eyes to see how beautiful I really am, and by saying “beautiful,” I don’t just mean my looks, but I also mean how beautiful I am inside. I approved of my insecurities and started being proud of who I am. I noticed that people started complimenting my smile and how it fits me perfectly. The challenge, however, is balancing your confidence so it would not turn into arrogance. Confidence should make you believe in your abilities and love yourself without downgrading how others feel about themselves. Confidence is never about superiority over others; instead, it creates equality and encourages others to boost their self-esteem. After believing in who I am and what I could become, my confidence was greatly boosted and I commended myself sarcastically in front of my friends instead of criticizing who I am. All it takes is to love yourself, accept your flaws, and let that caterpillar turn into a beautiful, confident butterfly. As I dug deeper into this topic, I was curious to discover people’s description of self-worth.

     I asked a bunch of people this question and noted their points of view:

“How would you describe self-worth?”

·        Johny: “It’s like knowing what you deserve, depending on what you do. Like evaluating your acts as good and bad, then knowing if you’re worthy of what you have.”

·        Abdullah: “It is basically knowing that God blesses you with existence, so you shall never accept to make any waiver no matter what; that is, don’t accept that anybody control your mood or make you sad, for example. Self-worth also necessitates confidence and knowing that nobody is better than you, as we all are humans.”

·        Nada: “Self-worth is knowing what you actually deserve from others and from yourself based on how you cope with life. When it comes to others, you deserve the kind treatment, the compassion, and the empathy if you treat others with them. If you actually know your self-worth, you won’t stay with a person who’d treat you like a toy, or one who’d manipulate you and your actions to a point where he/she would change who you are. When it comes to yourself, you deserve the self-love and the appreciation. You don’t have to receive appreciation from outside to know that you deserve appreciation.”

·        Seif: “Self-worth is the value of your unconscious mind that is measured due to your behavior, thoughts, and emotions. It varies according to your perspective.”

·        Madiha: “it’s different from one person to another. Some think that they are worthless and that their self-worth is nonexistent. On the other hand, some think that they are worthy, worth a lot.”

·        Omar: “How I see self-worth is as follows: Let me say that I don’t think anyone is not special; everyone, just for being alive, is already special and amazing. Those differences that everyone has are what make us even more unique, but sadly, some people hate those unique traits, and that’s seemingly fine. This is a loop where those who think they have little to no self-worth hurt themselves or hurt others to feel better about themselves. Self-worth is not only to love your living, but also to love the uniqueness and differences you have from the others. Because we all know that if something is common, it loses value. Each individual human is special and that gives us great value not even numbers could top. In conclusion, to have self-worth is to have self-value, and since everyone is special, it is important to love and value yourself. Not only that, but to link with others who are struggling to find their own self-worth and try to understand how others found their own self-worth, thus creating a great tale and an adventurous loving life.”