Writer: Lamia Gamil
Editor: Nada Elnady
Who do you want to be when you grow up?
As far as this question may have taken me, and as much as it was repeatedly thrown at me,
I always tend to thoroughly think of an alluring answer.
I close my eyes, I dream, and I squeeze my aspiration limits.
Trying to put myself in the shoe of anyone but her.
I don’t think like her. We are two separate worlds. I am the east, and she is the far end of the west.
Putting all possibilities before my eyes, I flip visions of so many versions of who I want to become when I grow up.
I started with all the superheroines and ended up with the global gurus.
I dreamt so big and pushed that thought, just the thought of me becoming her, far away.
I pushed it to the furthest it could be, only to find that I’m nothing but her.
I smile like her; I talk like her; I act like her; I scratch my forehead when I think just like her.
When life flips I tell myself, ”be up to it and everything will fall right into it’s place”.
I found no other healing words tailored for me than the words she always use to comfort herself.
How can I not become her, when I shared with her a magical journey that started from conception to birth?
A journey that knows no boundaries and bounds to no worldly law?
The rhythm of her heart beat penetrated every cell of mine, procreated the source of my security, and generated the first thing I knew about happiness and love.
I lived through every breath she took, and I was a part of her whole.
How can I not become her, if everytime she fed me, she gave me some of her kindness, care, and love?
If every time she taught me something new, she gave me some of her dedication, will, and persistence?
If every time she looked at me, she gave me some of her beauty, elegance, and charm?
If every time I fell, she lent me a hand and gave me some of her courage, endurance, and faith?
How can I not become her, if all her life she did nothing but give me everything she had to make me who I am today?
I found out that every thing I rejected in her and every thing I thought was a fault was everything I’m now proud of to be and everything I cling to, to match her beauty, strength, and soul.
It wasn’t confinement; it was not control, it was protection and shelter to avoid my fall.
It was not interference, no. She was not pushy at all as I once thought.
It was guidance, and yes, she was who encouraged me to pursue my dream.
You are God’s gift to my world.. I would be damn lucky to be just like you.
I found out that my mom is my super heroine, and she is the global guru I have always aspired to be
The person I am today, and everything I dreamt of being are all because of you.
The person I want to become when I grow up is to be like my mom.
Happy Mother’s Day