Writer: Rawan Elshiwy
It wasn’t supposed to go like this, I hadn’t planned to fall in love with you, but I’m so glad I did. You are the most blissful and gentle acquaintance, like the tender, hot sun rays kissing my sensitive skin. Like a sweet lovebird making love. Like a fire sprinkler liberating the flames within me. You were around, but how did I not recognize you out of all? How did my heart skip the steady, rhythmic beats of your “beast” that matched so perfectly to mine? You are made for me, and I connect to you on such a deep level of emotion, it seems our souls are touching.
My soul aches for yours like two hearts bound against each other in a warm embrace. And your eyes, oh your pupils, they call for mine. For a silent conversation to make around the mahogany dinner table and to memorize the shape and lines that belong your eyes all so well. You are a beautiful dream that I never want to wake up from. Like a Netflix-series with never-ending episodes streaming all night.
Do you know what it must be like spilling your ugly past mistakes in front of him? It feels agonizingly dreadful as if he was going to be ripped away from me forcefully, my lifeline. You are my lifeline, and without you there would be no life harboring my petite figure, and no reason left for me to fight for. You make it a little more bearable. “I have to tell you all my shit and if you’re the one you’ll get over it” I told myself as I stared into my tear-stained face in the bathroom mirror, but no amount of worry or guilt will suffice to wipe away the memories. “You deserve to know the truth, and maybe you’ll understand why I’m so taken aback by these feelings I’m feeling for you” I went on.
You accept me so peacefully with my flaws and past it makes it frustratingly difficult not to smash my lips against yours and own you. You welcome me into your chest knowing my darkest secrets, and most importantly you stayed. You didn’t run for the hills when I unraveled my previous chapters. Instead, you caressed my wounds and kissed them softly enough to heal them, and you opened up to me too, like a blooming canary sunflower. You didn’t reprimand me for all those mishappenings and the image you drew of me didn’t alter either, as if you were trying to gauge the way I am, the way why I am the person I am today.
You once stupidly said that you have nothing to be loved for, neither looks nor personality, but baby how wrong were you. I wish you gave yourself some of the love that you have for me, but even if you don’t, I’ll happily grant you mine. You are literally my knight in shining armor. I don’t know if you’ve ever been told this enough, but you possess the most caring soul out there, and you’ve got the nastiest nerves I’ve ever come across, but ironically so do I. I’ve fallen in love with a man, not a boy. A true man that seeks tranquility in my arms at the end of the day and doesn’t think it lessens any of his dignity or manhood.
You’re not ashamed of revealing all shades of such colorful sentiments. You treat me like a fragile tumbler, afraid I’d seemingly break under any pressure. You treat me like a princess, but beside you I feel like a real queen. Most of all, you make me feel like a precious treasure that only you could worship.
Oh, and have I mentioned that you’re probably the only reason I’m anti-suicidal now when I was not a few weeks ago, on the verge of letting it all go to hell? You’re the reason behind my bright smile now, and the reason behind my will to hold on. God, how you’ve made path into my heart and built a life there. I wish you a pleasant and everlasting visit my darling.