Narcissistic Abuse

Writer: Jihan Osama

Editor: Maram Mohamed

When I took a glance at the world we are living in, I found that narcissistic abuse is all around us in big and small ways, varying in the amount of damage or pain caused of course. The objectification of people has become so normal to the point people don’t see it as a problem. Relationships aren’t maintained for the purpose of loving/supporting/nurturing others unconditionally anymore. Rather, the quality of a relationship is measured by the amount of benefit it offers. Whether it is finances, keeping up appearances or for ego, it all comes down to one thing, personal profit. I am not saying that people should not gain benefit from each other, but relationships should not be solely for personal gain. A relationship should not be flaky. A man should not marry a woman for her good looks only and divorce her when she no longer has the perfect waist. A friend should not be abandoned because clinical depression has brought them down. A girlfriend’s quality should not be measured by how “cool” or “attractive” she makes her boyfriend look. I am not encouraging codependency of course. Unconditional love does not equal unconditional presence. No one should stay in a relationship that is abusive/painful, but no one should enter a relationship solely for personal gain either. I found that this objectification of others causes relationships to resemble the classic narcissistic/sociopathic abuse cycle (idealize, devalue, discard). It is more than common, but I realized just because everyone is doing it does not mean that it has somehow become acceptable and a normal part of life. I personally refuse to participate in such dysfunction because just because everyone is doing it does not mean it is right. I choose to participate in mutually loving, supporting relationships that do not end when I am no longer a person of utility. I am not a tool, I am a human worthy of unconditional love and a life free of objectification and abuse.