
Writer: Rawan Yousry
Editor: Abdullah Sobhi
Late at night
When I am alone
All the knives seem tempting to use
All the medications seem tempting to abuse
But would someone ever get my excuse?
Despite my efforts
All my problems out of my hands have outgrown
Despite my efforts
All my fears have found their ways to my mind’s throne
With tyranny
Their power have reached overseas conquered my mind,
And enslaved any potential glee
Depression has found it’s way to me
Breaking me
Bone by bone
And so
Every night
When I am alone
I almost find a way to end it all
But what if what I think is a rope led down to self ease
Turns out to be a rope led down into the dark abyss
Would it be any more comforting?
Thus
When I am seconds away from doing so
Seconds away from getting what I think I want
What my devils daily within my mind chant
I back off
And find a way to end it all
Go back to sleep
Shut down my heart’s weep
Start counting the sheep
Hoping that one day I’ll have a taste of what they call oversleep
Hoping a nightmare won’t get my heart out of my chest to leap
Hoping I won’t pass
by the internal struggle once more
But 24 hours later
I pass by it all once more
Late at night 24 hours later
When I am alone
It comes back
As bad as though it never occurred before
Once again
All the knives seem tempting to use
Once again
All the medications seem tempting to abuse
But would someone ever get my excuse?