Writer: Marwan Mohamed
If you’re in a relationship, then you’ve probably talked with your S/O about how it’s going to be like to be married to each other. You’ve talked about how many kids you want, how many rooms you want in your house, and the colour of your living room. However, if you’re anything like me, marriage terrifies you. What I mean is that, yeah sure, I love my girlfriend and I want to spend every day with her until I die, but the idea of marriage is scary. Being married doesn’t add anything to relationships. It won’t make us love each other more or keep us in love with each other. I love my girlfriend and I have no reason to refuse the idea of being married to her, but I want to wait as long as possible just to be sure. For me, being married means that I’m going to be devoted to my wife and kids, and try to provide the best life that I’m able to provide for them. But what if I’m not ready yet? What if there are things I want to do before I get married and spend the rest of my life being faithful to my wife and kids? It also means that I won’t be able to do lots of things I used to do. I won’t be able to flee with my friends for a weekend away, I won’t be able to continue the life style I’m used to. I’m gonna have to accommodate a whole person’s life schedule into mine. What if we realized suddenly that we weren’t meant for each other? Being married will do nothing but complicate the breakup. Also, the idea of someone having papers committing me to them isn’t really comforting to me, to be honest. If I say that I love you and my actions prove what I say, then I love you. Marriage and love are different things. People get married all the time without being in love, and some people love each other without getting married. Marriage doesn’t make you happy, it doesn’t force someone to love you and it won’t keep someone’s love for you. Love and commitment are feelings, not a piece of paper saying, “I owe you commitment.”
Most of us guys leave home by 20, take care of ourselves, pay our own bills, do our own laundry, cook our own food, go grocery shopping, and so on. So, why would I give up that freedom to become legally committed to a woman? I’m not implying that we marry women only to serve us, no! Not at all! If anything you guys should be working together, she isn’t your maid! But if you won’t add anything to my life emotionally, why would I get married to you? Another simple reason is that I may want to spend more time as a couple. There is way less pressure and it still gives the illusion that we guys still have more freedom. Marriage takes a leap of faith. It’s a bet that the two of us will succeed where many fails. If one person in a marriage wants to end it then there is nothing the other can do. They are forced to take part in the destruction of everything they have built and loved and you can’t do anything you’re just here for the ride. Placing your future into the hands of someone needs tremendous levels of trust, and it isn’t easy to love and trust someone to that level. So, these are mostly my personal reasons to not liking marriage. Sure, I want to get married eventually and have kids, but only if I’m sure about our feelings, and after living my life to the fullest and making sure that I won’t be missing out on anything I didn’t do before getting married or having any regrets.