Writer: Hagar Sadek
The Journey starts with pain you can physically feel, an aching chest,and a fearful heart. The journey starts with a million questions in your head: Am I exaggerating?Does this deserve all the pain I’m feeling?Am I- am I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?! The journey begins with waking up with eyes too puffy and a complete loss of energy, even before the day even started. You start questioning everything and everyone around you. The worst part of it is that you can’t bring yourself to hate them.
Days go by and suddenly seeing them doesn’t break your heart in a million pieces anymore. Their actions aren’t always noticeable to you. You’re finally getting over them. But are you though? One normal day, you’re sitting with a friend and suddenly everything comes back to your head without any warning. You begin to cry your heart out and your friend, clueless, hugs you. This is what you wanted ever since the heartbreak. You craved to be embraced forever. You ask your friend:“Am I so hard to stay with?” Your friend hugs you tighter. You’ve gone back to square one.
But no, you wake up one day and feel nothing towards them. You don’t check if they saw your stories anymore ,and you stop trying to get their attention. When you remember what they’ve done to you, you don’t feel anything and when they cross your mind, only the good memories come by. You wish them the best, from all your heart. Yes, you do admit that what you’ve had was so valuable to you and ,sometimes, you even miss it, and that’s okay. But you know better now, you know that you’re worth so much more than someone who was okay with your absence.
You did it! You’ve completely let go of them. It doesn’t matter how long it took, whether it was year or two. Whether it was a straight line or you had ups and downs. You did it and you are so much stronger now. And I could not be more proud of you.