Writer: Sarah Mandor
Editor: Ahmed Ashry
Photo Credits: Aimée Wilder
At a stage of my life, I dedicated all my efforts as a rescuer. I put all my efforts in solving problems. I believed it was my duty to help everyone. I felt guilty if I couldn’t rescue people. “Fixing” everything around was the only way I valued myself as a person. I wasn’t emotionally affected, but I was always consumed, that when I need my “power” for my problems, I discover I can’t do a thing.
If you are someone who feels it’s your duty to fix everything, then you probably can understand how consuming it can be. Some days it’s hard to get out of bed although you spent the whole day doing nothing but listening.
By time I understood something that made this trait less consuming. I am here to help? Yes, and that’s great, but I am not here to rescue or fix things. I can help someone, but if they refuse to fix themselves, there is nothing I could change. It doesn’t affect my value as a human. I am not a failure if the people I help chose to stick to the damage without accepting the responsibility of healing.
Just because someone needs help doesn’t mean that they get to treat me in a way that I don’t deserve; it doesn’t justify it. I am here to tolerate everything with them but the list of everything doesn’t include “my disrespect”.
I finally found out that there is a HUGE difference between self appreciation, love, and being selfish. If someone needs help go, help him/her. However, if you too need help and can’t help them at the moment, don’t feel guilty. Our struggles are our priority and main responsibility. People can help us find new ways, yes, but the action of growing up and healing? That is totally our job.