People in Ramadan: Dates and Samosas

Writer: Maram Mohammed

Life is basically made up of a plethora of moments that we cherish. Our festivals, though, are basically the highlight of it all. We make a point to make them as memorable as they can get. One of the many highlights, and the most important too, is Ramadan. This month holds so much peace and beautiful memories. It is the sweet spot of many different cultures & many different types of people.

What do I mean by many different types of people? I mean dates and samosas. They are both iftar essentials, yet each of them possesses a taste from the different ends of the spectrum. One is sweet and the other is extremely savory. Anyway, allow me to elaborate.

1) I’m Hungry and You should know it.

These people just sit from Fajr to Maghreb complaining about how hungry they are. They just sit and give you the feeling they will endeavor anything placed in-front of them. After they eat- no, vacuum- all the food on the table, they sit and start complaining about how full their stomach is. You really can never win with them; it is exhausting thinking about it.

2) Not on my diet, bruh.

These people believe that everyone could and should diet in Ramadan. They believe that restricting their food would be easier since they eat in a smaller period than normal days. Unfortunately, after a few days, the moist Konafa will move swiftly within their mouths, making their tastebuds feel what they are missing out on. They then realize that the konafa isn’t on their diet plan, but also no one should know that.

3) Good Morning; Good Night.

Those people sleep after Fajr and wake up 10 seconds before Maghrib. They don’t know what happened yesterday, what century it is and why their konafa tastes like konafa. Overall, they are lost but at least they don’t have bags under their eyes.

4) One more Samosa.

Ever heard of the motto:*the more you eat, the less hungry you will feel*. Yeah, me neither, but I have seen so many people worship it in Ramadan and I am scarred. These people sit from Maghrib till Fajr filling their stomach with anything in their reach. Konafa, atayef, yogurt, chips, chocolate, a cardboard box, mehalabeya, their little sibling, and the list goes on. They are unstoppable until they hear fajr prayer and everyone around them thanks the lord that they survived their wrath.

5) Last-minute homie.

You are wondering who falls under this category. Well, the answer is the little rebels who don’t drink water or eat their yogurt like normal humans do. But then 10 seconds before fajr they stuff their face like there is no tomorrow. And promise themselves and the world that they won’t do that to themselves the next day. They break that promise 30 times.

6) Post-maghrib = znoob

The lovely delinquents of this holy month. They consider post-maghrib to be the only time they get to do everything haram. It doesn’t matter as long as they fast the next day, right?

7) Binge watchers.

They wait for Ramadan just for its series. They get the list and make their schedule, arrange the series they want to watch: according to the trailers or their favorite characters. They set their alarms; they inform their neighbors when they should wake them up for Mohammed Ramadan. They post on social media all the updates you need for your favorite mosalsal. Truly, they take their detective skills to a whole new level and we are kind of glad they exist.

8) Victims of our Educational System’s wrath.

These fallen soldiers are divided into three sub-categories.

1) The: I don’t have to study or have fun:These are people who sit in-front of the book, glare at it, and do absolutely nothing.  They neither study nor even go out to make memories .

2) The:I don’t study but I have fun: these are the people who gave up on Ramadan education and thought about the memories before the certificate. They just close their books and panic after all the festivals are done or the day prior to the test.

3) The: I study but I don’t have fun: These people chose their certificates over their satisfaction or pleasure. A few of them actually consider Ramadan examinations fun.