Writer: Menna Kalboush
Editor: Ahmed Ashry
Perhaps it’s all written in our destiny, but our curious nature makes us question everything.
Why things have happened in the past?
What will our futures look like, our lives, our present, the changes around us?
Perhaps we even question our existence sometimes.
It’s clear that people have always craved for an understanding of the underlying order of the world; how things work, the boundary conditions of the universe, and why everything is simply the way that it is.
But in the midst of all this chaos, we find ourselves facing continuous life transformations.
Every day, in the seemingly endless hours between sunrise and dusk, we find ourselves changing, our old thoughts expiring. Our old wishes, our interests, attitudes, our daily routine, and even the smallest details of our lives are replaced with completely new ones.
Days leave nothing in the same position; they either change it or take it away.
We see ourselves fall in love, then we fall out of it.
People enter our lives, and they find their ways, in and out.
We say goodbye to the things we once thought were permanent.
With every sunrise, we strike up a conversation with ourselves, we wind up thinking about the past with all the memories it holds, and about the future with all its promises and undercovered plans.
We’re somehow caught in the in between, thinking about the ups and downs, and whatever overwhelming situation we’re
facing in that very moment.
We fell in love with memories from the past, and the people we used to be with. Those memories have never been able to stop returning to our minds, reminding us of how things used to be. We still have a desire to go back and live those moments again, to have a second chance to fix things, to spend more time with the departed ones, to embrace moments, to relive them once again, to feel them with all our senses, to hold on to the feelings, the places, the surroundings, all things at once.
We still desire tasting the ability of making things right, erasing our mistakes, unsaying some of those spoken words, or spilling out the words we trapped and silenced in our hearts.
As if we are in a small lifeboat, sometimes we want to stay by the shore, fearing the the high waves that might knock us out, and sometimes we want to dive deep, taking our path through the ocean, unconcerned with all the risks and dangers involved. All we want is to sail away and hopefully then we can finally reach our destination.
Likewise , we also have a desire to jump to the future, unconcerned with all the losses, the challenges and obstacles we will face.
Sometimes courage is what it takes to outgrow the life you’ve built.
A wish never dies despite our attempts to bury it. But, we go on with our lives, be present at the moment, and follow our journey through to its conclusion.
All of those thoughts and wishes of being somewhere else other than where we are, all of those attachments and holding on to the non-present moments shred our souls into pieces. They leave our souls out of place.
Maybe we’ll never be able to go back in time. Maybe we’ve lived indescribable moments, but none will be equal to the ones we are yet to see.
Growth is often uncomfortable but it’s necessary. Don’t be afraid of moving forward and losing sight of who you’ve used to be. Continue growing to become a better version of yourself.Menna Kalboush