Writer: Najm Beba

Oh, my nicotine.

You tasted just like cigarettes, but sweeter. And I was such a fool to your effect.

You swept my dumb, naive heart off the floor and gently carried me to cloud nine.

You made my world full of colors when I had only lived in shades of Black and White.


You, my mystery, made me yours. But to my poor fortune, you wanted others.

At first, I didn’t mind; for as long as I had a part of your dopamine, I was happy.

You, every now and then, would leave me alone with just the memory of you.

Anticipating you, I would wait for you heavenly, charming effect that my heart longed for.

As I craved more, every breath of you felt better than the one before it. You knew exactly how to paint my world with all the hues in the spectrum of colors.


Your departure was more than my body and heart could handle.

Full of fear, my head was in pain; as I kept falling every time I tried to walk without you.

In the middle of the night, you left me asleep on the floor with a note on my bed.

As much as I expected you, my sweet nicotine, to leave my body, my shaking heart couldn’t handle.


Taunting me, my mind was there sitting in the corner, laughing at me for trusting you in the first place.

Despite whatever shade of Black and White world, I was living in, my mind ought to teach me lessons.

My mind knew that relying on a harmful chemical for my happiness would destruct me.

As I was standing up, I started planting happiness and my own shades of colors within myself.

Oh, my sweet nicotine, thank you for teaching me how to stand up on my own without anyone’s help. And thank you for teaching me how to love myself because I know I deserve better.