A Letter to My Past

Writer: Hania Mostafa

Editor: Ahmed Ashry

To my Past, 

It took me time to accept you. It took me time to accept what you did to me from tears to heartbreaks. But mark my words today because I just realized that I can’t heal without accepting you fully with open arms, and believe me, I really need to heal. Let me admit that you broke me at times. You scared me other times. However ,let me also admit that you were always on my side. You showed me the real faces of many fake people around me. You got me out of many toxic relationships. Thank you for that. Thank you for the sadness, for the anger, for the pain because this is what got me here today. This is what shaped me. I’m not perfect. I know that. One day, I thought that this is a problem, but right now , I just believe that perfection is a myth and imperfection is the reality. Today is my reborn , and ,oh, I’m so ready for it. I just wanted to apologize for hating you all these years, for wanting to erase you. This is what I regret the most, wanting to erase you, because why would I ever hate something that was a part of me someday, that shaped the person I am now? But let me admit loving you and accepting you wasn’t easy because you were sometimes just so cruel. In the past, I always associated you with the tears that I shed alone at night or times that I just wished for someone, just anyone to understand me. But now I remember you by the times I erased these tears on my face and forced myself to stand up to face the world. By the times I decided to not wait for someone to understand me, to give me strength. The days I decided to be that person for myself. 

Today I want to tell you that I’m moving on. I have to let you go to be able to move on. 

Now that I have to go out there and give my graduation speech, I decided an hour ago that I can’t give that speech without letting you go and getting everything I want to tell you out of the way. 

I accept you. Thank you, next.