The Soul and the Spectrum Clash

Writer: Rawan El Shiwy

When I come to write all my thoughts down, a meaningful silence settles upon my soul, like a mother reprimands her own offspring. It’s quite unnerving how a wide spectrum of emotion can be so difficult to express in understood syllables. Perhaps this wide range of spectrum overlaps, mis functions and demands pleading attention.

The spectrum has been caged for too long, imprisoned by the imaginary indiscernible walls that faithfully pledge to perform their duties to the fullest extent. What this stubborn little spectrum doesn’t understand is that all these boundaries were unconsciously set by itself, and it is -sadly- not to be blamed.

“The outside world is too cruel for you my dear… do not venture? Do you not recall the consequences of the last experience?” The spectrum’s soul whispers.

But it isn’t the spectrum’s fault that it wasn’t fully expectant and ready to embrace disappointment. Why should souls encourage confinement? Why should the soul put the blame on the innocent intentions and the naive hopes? Why can’t just the soul let the spectrum be? Free of all feign pretense and deceitful mannerisms?

“Sometimes the preciousness within you should be kept with a tight vault for it not to be prone to prospective damage. Like a diamond in the rough…. “ the soul responds. But maybe, just maybe the spectrum within me wants to be set free and declare boldly “fuck who others are… that isn’t gonna stop me from being the spectrum I am, full of sensibility and vulnerability, full of mishaps and success, full of the wide range of the spectrum…”