Writer: Sarah Mandor
Editor: Abdallah Sobhi
“He shall never know I love him: and that’s not because he’s handsome, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same.”
This quote had stolen my heart ever since I read it. “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” The idea of falling for someone is very complex when I think about it. I always view commitment as something I can’t do. How shall I stay forever with someone? This question hits me hard whenever I think about it. Then, I figured out that at some point of your life you meet someone and everything changes. You may not look alike, speak alike, or have the same history or even same dreams, but at some point when both of you are sitting together silently it hits you so hard ‘he is more myself than I am’. He will remind you of yourself; you will copy him and he shall copy you by time. Both of you will have your different dreams but when you sit at the same table you feel yourself.
I always ask myself: What is home? What does it feel to be ‘home’? He shall make you understand how it feels to be home after being a foreigner for too long… The simple acts shall melt your heart: the sudden smile, the change of his tone, his body language, his smell, his vibe—everything that maybe no one had ever noticed in him before will move mountains in your heart.
You will find yourself wondering when you are together if this is really happening. Is he truly there? Am I really that lucky? Your eyes will whisper to you ‘I am happy!’ even when you are alone. They will see him in all the faces you pass by; your heart will dance inside. If freezing a moment was possible, you won’t hesitate to do it.
It won’t always be good. Your eyes will cry, your heart will beat so fast that you’d think it wants to leave your body, you won’t feel full all the time, and sometimes it will feel too empty yet too heavy. That’s when you know it’s real, when you find yourself trying again, waiting again and forgiving again.
I hope when it knocks your door, you allow yourself to feel and live it, and even if it will hurt, even if it won’t last, you will look at the universe one day and say “at least it passed by”…