Writer: Mariam Ramzy
Editor: Amal Magdi
How many of us act nice or dress up just to impress people? How many of us are afraid of changing or speaking up because we’re afraid of what people will think of us? Let me tell you, I used to say “yes” to people even though I wanted to say no. I used to agree to anything whether it’s were friends or strangers, just because I was afraid of what they were going to think had I said ‘no’. I cared about people’s emotions, people’s problems, their thoughts, and their opinions. I cared about people more than I cared about myself. I belittled myself and was oblivious to how much it was affecting me. It took me a full year to regain myself. I was moving countries and I thought this was the perfect time to change. This is when Mark Manson’s book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” came in handy too.
It’s okay to say no
You always want to say yes to people. You want people to say, “Aww, she/he is so nice”. You don’t think you are nice enough and that’s why you need constant reassurance. Maybe, you don’t want to hurt them too, but you are being manipulated this way. Everyone is manipulating you into doing stuff that you don’t want to do. People only think about themselves, so they really don’t give a fuck about you. This is where you should stop giving a fuck too. For once, say no to the girl that keeps on asking you for homework. Say no to your friend that makes fun of you. Say no to an outing with people you don’t feel safe around. Say no to a toxic friendship or relationship. I’m going to have to admit that the first “no” is the hardest. However, once you say it once, you slowly stop giving a fuck. You feel good. You feel happy. Most importantly, you won’t have to think of lame excuses anymore.
Will it matter in a year?
The more confident you become, the less fucks you will give. Always ask yourself the question, “Will it matter in a year?”. If it won’t, then simply stop giving a fuck. The less fucks you give, the better your life will turn out. Trust me on this. Don’t waste your time by caring too much. If you want to go to the mall with your pjs, then what are you waiting for just go already. Worst case scenario is people will end up staring at you and honestly this is not even a bad thing. Who doesn’t love attention?Furthermore, you’ll end up impressing people without even trying, because everyone simply wants to be as confident as you. “In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference.” – Mark Manson
Remember you are going to die
People will always criticize you, so do whatever the hell you want! Whatever you’re afraid of, face that fear until you get bored and don’t give a fuck about it anymore. You don’t want todie before realizing that you were the one stopping yourself from living your best life. “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” – Steve Jobs
Sometimes you will be put in difficult situations when you’re unsure if whether you should give a fuck or not. For this reason, the diagram below will help you make the best decisions.