The 10 Rules Before Saying, “You’re My Bestfriend”

Writer: Malak Amin

According to Google, a best friend is a person’s closest friend; however, a best friend is much more than just a person’s closest friend. A best friend is someone who is there for you through thick and thin. He/she is someone who listens and understands you. Someone you can call anytime, visit anytime to talk about anything, or even do nothing. Someone that will stand up for you and keep your secrets. Briefly, someone you trust with your life. So here’s why you should never rush into giving them such power and title over you and what should make them worthy and special.

Every “bestie” friendship in the world starts with “it’s a secret between us” to “giiiiirrrrrl” or “biiiiiiiitttch”, and you basically know you’re bestfriends from that time on. So trust is the founder, am I right? Yep, I am. Without trust, it’s not even a thing. So, my friend, if your friends listen and keep your secrets, they’re the ones. But if your friend isn’t  trustworthy, I suggest you run; why are you even bothering? Having someone in your life who thinks you are important and keeps up with the trust you put in them and also makes you feel wanted is enough to boost your self esteem. But just as they can boost it, they can also constraint it. So be careful on who you trust. 

After this very important decision you have made or secret you have shared, there’s one thing we all need: unconditional support. For example, your best friend calls you and needs your help while you are yet to take a shower, so you get in the car without even changing. Here’s the deal: Best friends see each other through the worst and best, so it’s your duty to show all the support even on the worst condition. They love us either way. Support, support, and support!

Our most basic fear is being alone. We all hate that. I personally hate that. But when you have a true best friend, it doesn’t really matter whether they’re around the corner or in another time zone. Just knowing that they’re here no matter what won’t make you feel lonely anymore. It actually provides a sense of being connected with just a simple “hey”. If they’re not there, call them. The connection is never lost.

With the package of connectedness comes care, which is the second most important thing after trust. A best friend is technically both mom and dad or sister and brother, husband and wife, etc…. And care is not just listening to your problems and just having you rant on and on; that’s not care! My cat can do that! Caring is both listening and striving to make you feel better. Care can come in so many forms, shall I list them? Yes I will list it, duh. 

How to know they care:

1.They give killer advice. 

2.They share your evil thoughts and stupid adventures. 

3.They make you music playlists & mixtapes when in need. 

4.They provide hugs. 

5.They wipe your runny nose for you when you’re sick.

6.They stand up and fight for you. 

     The list is actually endless, perhaps in another article, no? Yes, hehehe. Moving on! Care is what makes you feel connected, but you know what else? Your mindsets. What the hell, Malak? I know! Well, son, this is how it always starts. Music, matching shoes, food, etc…. What I’m trying to say is that you and your bestfriend can actually be polar opposite or very alike, but there always has to be something that makes you feel utterly connected, or else it’s not a friendship; it’s death. Just imagine being that boring; it seems sad. Yet, my friends, sometimes it’s more than just music that make you feel connected, and that’s how you know it’s not a friendship anymore. This subject alone needs another article!

How many times have you tried to hold back the famous statement of “I told you so”? To be honest, I can’t count. Why so? It’s because… here’s the third most important thing, are you ready? It’s honesty. Without honesty, how can I trust you, man? Simply because a best friend’s significant role is to be crucially honest with you. No matter how ugly the truth is, it’s better than lying. They know you well and are able to tell it like it is, mate. So next time when your best friend looks in your eyes, shakes their head, and suggests that you rethink a possibly silly decision, listen to them. Here, I said it in bold. Listen to them, please. No lies, just brutal honesty. With the fair negotiation about your certain crush, your best friend will always have a fair and equivalent life experience telling you no all the time. Even if they’re single, they always come in handy with “the memory lane of why you should be single” life lessons starter pack. They even start with “remember this time” or “I used to”. They work all the time, but you’re just an idiot. 

Forget about anything I just said. Ladies and gentlemen, here we are! Say hi to loyalty. Mofag2a mesh keda? Loyalty means never having to worry about someone spilling your secrets or talking about you behind your back. A loyal friend will always be on your team (even if it’s the purge and you just murdered six people, a loyal friend will help you bury them). Apologies for the violent content, but I think the message is received. A loyal friend is also your number one fan besides your mom. A loyal friend will never ever betray your trust and will be completely honest with you. 

Comfort. Comfort should be both the first and last thing you should see in a friend because comfort drives instinct, and not all people have good luck to “follow their instincts”. Like me, your instinct is dangerous. I do not recommend using it. On rare occasions, instinct is a good thing. But imagine having enough comfort towards Micheal Myres and calling him your “bestie” and up being a “ghostie”. No thanks, I’m good. All of your toxic past best friendships started with unconditional comfort, want to know why? Because after retrieving the comfort you seek, you end up building very high expectations on your friend to contain all these qualities and just end up bumping your head on the wall you built. So never have comfort towards a Micheal Myres. MALAK! How’s that? Well, you know, not all people are Micheal Myres. I mean, you can also be as comfortable as you want and be cautious at the same time. You’re either granted by a best friend and consider this God’s gift to you or a khazoo2 and consider this an experience. So your best friend can be John Wick, a loyal and extreme badass, or just Michael Myres, a backstabber.

This article is from a friend to a friend, or shall I say “bestfriend”. It’s from pure experience, a lesson I learned from tears and sleepless nights. Because your best friend is more than one person, you lose them, you lose your chef, your Keanu reeves, and your own personal annoying brother (Loki). Your iron man, your mama, your papa, etc…. So dear, whoever is reading this, please, please, please, PLEASE! Aboos edak/edek, choose wisely. Trust, care, comfort, honesty, self esteem, support, connectedness, mindset, life lessons, and loyalty are all the ten things you should look for in a friend before you call them your “best friend”.