Playing with The Lights Off

Writer: Nayirah Salem

Some people regret their presence in life; I bet that this happens to almost everyone. Even the people who act happy. Their smiles can fool us into thinking and assuming that they’re happy.  I wonder how a fake mask and pretty eyes can hide the unhandled pain inside someone. When someone fakes emotions, it feels like that person is playing with the lights off: living and pretending to enjoy life, but with no true emotions or genuine enjoyment. 

              The power of emotions and inner thoughts can return life to a dead person, while faking them can kill a living person. Faking those emotions is the most painful thing ever. Nothing hurts more than trying to fake being ok, and nothing is more embarrassing than breaking down. Even when you break down privately, it’s embarrassing when you look at yourself in the mirror and see how beautiful you are, and yet how broken you are. Faking your emotions and thoughts, pretending that you are fine when you are not, is exactly like wearing shoes 7 times smaller than your size. However, you force yourself to smile and hold in your tears, pretending that the redness of your face is blush and not pain, just to not seem awkward in front of people. Trust me, this way you will seem way more awkward. 

           If you are only faking your smile and putting on ahappy mask, you need no therapist and no medicine;your only cure is to stop pretending. Just try and express yourself whenever you feel down. Scream whenever you want to, cry and shed tears whenever you need to and also wherever you feel you want to. Your cure is to be satisfied with your situation. After confessing how you really feel several times, you will be amazed by how those sad feelings have been completely wiped out. This time you won’t need to pretend to be happy, because you truly will be.