Writer: Mariam Hisham
Editor: Maram Mohamed
Today is my last day here; I am moving to my college dormtomorrow. I’m not homesick, or at least not yet. I don’t know. I just needto be in my room for a while. It’s 2 in the morning and everyone is asleep. I looked around me, double checking if I forgot to pack anything. My eyes fell on my old books, and I started to go through them, just in case I needed to pack any of them. I stumbled upon a yellow locked notebook, my old diary! I picked it up, sat on my bed, turned the lights on and started reading.
The first few pages talked about Emily, my childhood (ex) best friend. I don’t know if I even should put (ex) before best friend part because nothing bad really happened between us. I talked a lot about her, and about how much she meant to me. I looked at the date — 8/8/2012– that was eight years ago! I was ten years old back then. Scanning over the pages, I noticed a full one, so I started reading it.
” Today, Emily my very best friend gave me a toy because we have been friends for five years! It’s so cute I love it…”
I didn’t really remember that doll, so I just kept going through thepages. My attention was caught once more by my angry handwriting on another page.
“Today, my mom accidentally broke the toy Emily gave me! She didn’t mean to, I know, but I’m just so sad! I decided to keep my toy under my bed so I can remember Emily as I grow up!“
Now I remember, I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I loved that toy! I remember crying for hours because it broke. Wanting to keep reading, I randomly chose a page.
“Today, I was showing my friends at school my writings. Most of them liked them and encouraged me to keep going, but Karma, the popular girl, and her friends told me that my writings just didn’t make sense and I should just stop writing. I’m so sad! I think I’ll never write again. Maybe they’re right.“
I remember this day. I remember how sad I was, even though most of my friends told me they liked my writings, Karma and her friends’ words just stood out the most. They hurt. I closed my diary and decided to take it with me. I remembered that I wrote that I kept the doll Emily gave me under my bed, so I started looking for it till I found it. I grabbed it and looked at it. It was still beautiful, aside from the remnantsof glue from my mother’s failed attempts to fix it.
Emily and I aren’t friends anymore. We just drifted as we grew older. We used to talk every day and then every while until we only texted for birthday wishes. Now, we don’t even remember each other’s birthdays. I’m not sad, for I know it’s not our fault. I remembered how hard I cried because that toy broke, but I didn’t shed a tear when she didn’t text me for my birthday. I remembered how I stopped writing for 2 years because of Karma and her friends’ words, but now I’m a famous writer. I took a moment to appreciate time and how much it changes us. I appreciated how strong I’ve become and how long it took me to be like that. If I had just believed Karma and her friends, I would have never published my very first book. If I had broken down when Emily and I drifted, I would have never had my current amazing best friends.
When I was younger, lots of things affected my personality. But now that I am older, I understand that, all along, time was just trying to teachme that “the original me” is the best version of myself, not the version the people around me want me to be. I looked at my mirror and all those packed boxes around me. I feel proud of myself. I feel thankful for time.
Throughout our life, we get scars, some of which we think will never heal. But time always proves us wrong. “Time makes us stronger, time makes us better”, they say. But I believe that time just shows us how strong and beautiful we are.
Afterall, It’s all about time.